Dark Days and Rainbows

In a previous blog post I wrote about the injury I received last year and how I’ve been recovering and reexamining what I want out of my business. Since that blog post, I have had two more surgeries (one on each leg, one of which was not related to the fall but a previous injury) and some family issues to deal with. To say the least, creativity has been on hold.

I’ve spent a lot of time sitting and thinking, and sometimes it’s so difficult to not get very frustrated with the situation, or with myself for lack of motivation. I’ve spent minimal time at my bench, but during the time I was actually there I worked on this pendant. This pendant is the culmination of techniques I have been learning for the past five years. It is entirely hand-engraved and sculpted, without the use of any pneumatic assisted devices. It took many, many hours and was a test of patience, but I’m thrilled that it came out like I had envisioned. There are, arguably, easier ways of making a piece like this (for instance, carving in wax and casting, or using a pneumatic engraving tool), but I wanted to challenge myself. And it felt really good to accomplish this.

But my thoughts recently have been consumed with where to go next. I dearly miss chasing and repousse, but unfortunately I am still struggling with shoulder issues and don’t think that is something I am going to be able to do. I loved making this new piece, but it is impossible to charge an appropriate amount for the time that it takes to complete. I love making chains, but have a large number of chains already available in my inventory that I was planning on selling at shows. And shows are definitely something that my body won’t be able to do for some time, if I even want to consider going back. I’m still working on learning hand engraving (that’s an endeavor that I think can last a lifetime) and also working on my drawing skills. Always learning, always trying to move forward…

This all sounds dark, and I’ll admit that lately my mind often travels to darker places that I would like to see. After nearly two years off of my feet, the situation can be very frustrating and isolating. But I know that if I continue to put one foot in front of the other (pun intended!) and simply move forward, I will find a rainbow or two. It’s all about continuing to move, continuing to believe, and continuing to keep my eyes open so I can catch a glimpse of that rainbow.